Jealous of her?

It's easy to be jealous of her. She seems to have everything going for her. She's intelligent, pretty, petite, rich, and has a personality that's so likable. But much more than that, she's sooooo well-loved by all of us, especially her parents. She's my niece.

As I had lived with my brother's family for about 2 years since my return from India, I had the privilege of watching her grow from a 2-month old baby. The photo was taken when she was about 2½ years old. I enjoyed spending time with her, be it singing, dancing, running, playing, watching Barney/ Hi-5/ Nickelodeon together, or reading storybooks/ rhymes to her, or taking her for walks and having fun teaching her to observe the flowers and plants along the way. Oh how I miss all that!

But watching the way my brother loves her has been something else altogether to me. Suddenly, she looks like a princess. She'd be making lots of small requests from him, eg. "Papa, can I have Coke?" "Papa, carry me like I'm an aeroplane." At times when she runs out of things to ask, she would start to rattle "Papa this" and "Papa that." To her, he's like the king and that makes her the princess – that she's well-aware of. It's endearing to watch how she relishes in his love. And no matter how tired he is, she always melts his heart so easily. He simply adores her.

It's in such moments that I would begin to be deeply jealous of her. How good to be loved this way! I want to be loved so unconditionally too! Hence, slowly, watching him loving her began to be a bitter sweet thing. I started telling God this struggle that I have and the emotions that came along with it. About a month ago, when I was telling God again how I envy her, then suddenly, almost like an audible voice, I heard God tell me, "This is how I love you." I was stunned for a moment before tears started rolling down from my eyes.

Thank You, Father, for this beautiful picture of You loving me. Thank You...