Church: Why bother?

To dwell in love with saints above,
Why that will be glory.
To dwell below with saints I know --
Why, that's a different story. ~ Anonymous
"When the Lord God saw the extent of human wickedness, and that the trend and direction of men's lives were only towards evil, He was sorry He had made them. It broke His heart... But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord." (Genesis 6:5-6, 8) "We humans cause God great pain, yet God remains passionately involved with us. Should not I have something of that same attitude toward the church around me?" Quoting from Philip Yancey's Church: Why bother? "Having experienced the grace of God for ourselves, we wanted to dispense it to others, free of charge, no strings attached, as grace always comes. The church, I have learned, can indeed be a new sign radically dissimilar to the world's own manner, and contradict it in a way which is full of promise. For this reason, church is worth the bother."

"When the Milpitas High School orchestra attempts Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, the result is appalling," Philip Yancey quoting Earl Palmer, "I wouldn't be surprised if the performance made old Ludwig roll over in his grave despite his deafness. You might ask, 'Why bother?' Why inflict on those poor kids the terrible burden of trying to render what the immortal Beethoven had in mind? Not even the great Chicago Symphony Orchestra can attain that perfection. My answer is this: The Milpitas High School orchestra will give some people in that audience their only encounter with Beethoven's great Ninth Symphony. Far from perfection, it is nevertheless the only way they will hear Beethoven's message." -- a defence for the church against critics who dismissed it for its hypocrisy, its failures, its inability to measure up to the New Testament's high standards. "Although we [the church] may never achieve what the composer had in mind, there is no other way for those sounds to be heard on earth."

This is a big old ship, Bill. She creaks, she rocks, she rolls, and at times she makes you want to throw up. But she gets where she's going. Always has, always will, until the end of time. With or without you.
~ J. F. Powers, Wheat that springeth green
It is not what you are nor what you have been
that God sees with His all-merciful eyes,
but what you desire to be.
~ The Cloud of Unknowing Read on...

Normal is just a setting on your dryer

"Life often comes at us with TNT force, leaving us emotionally tentative and spiritually bewildered. Our circumstances often don't seem fair and certainly don't appear to be normal.

My quest for normalcy has brought me to the understanding that our commonality is in our abnormality. The good news is that that's ok. We are unique, which beats normal any day. In fact, we are so amazingly designed that God supervised the placement of our inner workings and registered our existence even before we were held for the first time. Then He who formed us takes His involvement a step further and uses our circumstances in our best interests. That leaves us free to embrace the fact that normal... is just a setting on your dryer." -- The last two paragraphs of Patsy Clairmont's book. Read on...

Enough of Not Enough

Have you ever heard the voice of performance speaking to you? I have. It says, "You're not tall/short enough, not slim enough, not big/small enough, not happening/ cool/ fashionable/ interesting/ sociable enough, not fit/ strong/ healthy enough, not confident/ stable/ tough/ consistent enough, not knowledgeable/ capable/ resourceful/ smart/ fast enough, not eloquent enough, not high-tech enough, not accomplished/ outstanding/ established enough, not secure enough, not rich enough, not own enough, etc." Oh and sometimes, it gets even more poignant, "You're not determined/ disciplined enough, not patient enough, etc." It's time like this that we need to remember (or be reminding each other) to choose to listen to the Voice of Truth.

Two weeks ago, when I was feeling tired and vulnerable, I'd two consecutive episodes of experience that triggered some past memories and the related emotions which I'd thought I'd fully processed through, let go of, and moved on. But no. This ruffling experience stood before me like Goliath, jeering away, "It's not over yet!" I felt depress (sad and angry) that I was not humble enough, not forgiving/ big-hearted/ mature/ surrendered enough... until I turned from this voice of performance to the Voice of Truth. I know the voice of performance is telling me a truth, but it's not telling me the whole truth.

Through the past three years, I've slowly learned to be more patient with myself; more accepting, loving, and empathetic toward myself. Yes, I've been learning to humbly accept my weaknesses and limitations with graciousness toward myself. And to stop "beating up the child in me" whenever "the critic in me" finds she's "not cooperative enough." I'm learning to help myself grow more healthily rather than more hurryingly. I'm over with self-punishment and self-hatred... more and more over time. I'm reminded again that Jesus is the personification of Grace, Truth, Love, Righteousness, and Goodness. So the Voice of Truth is the one and same voice as the Voice of Grace, of Love, of Righteousness, and of Goodness.

I'm learning not to be deceived by the voice of performance, but to listen to the Voice of Truth and believe Him — "My Savior, Redeemer, lifted me from the miry clay. Almighty, forever, I will never be the same 'cos You came near, from the everlasting, to the world we live. The Father's only Son. You lived and You died, You rose again on high. You opened the way, for the world to live again. Hallelujah, for all You've done... You hold my world in the palm of Your hand. And I am Yours, forever. Jesus, I believe in You. Jesus, I belong to You. You're the reason that I live." (Lyrics of "For all You've done" & "With all I am" by Reuben Morgan/Hillsong) But for quite a long while, the voice of performance had somehow overshadowed the Voice of Truth which had become just cliches.

It felt like being given a consolation prize after losing all the top prizes, when I tried to remind and comfort myself in times of misery with truths like, "You are accepted, valued, respected, loved, and uniquely created by God for a purpose. You are significant in Christ. You belong to God." Then one day two years ago, still in my depression, struggling big-time with all the "not enough's," I asked God for His perspective on my situation. Suddenly, He helped me see that just knowing and having Him in my life as my Savior is like having put the one and only giant rock (Jesus) into a container (I). Hundreds of stones, pebbles, and uncountable grains of sand (the many "not enough's") may yet to be poured into this container to fill it up. It may never get to have some of these stones, pebbles, and sand. But hey, what a start to have that giant Rock be first placed in there. I remember saying to God through tears and hope, "Ya, You are it. So even if I may never have all of that, with You alone in me, my Rock, it is enough."

A dear friend I've known through the Israel trip, Laura, shared with me that once after someone sang a song that went, "I know my Redeemer lives," she exclaimed, "And that's all I know on some days." Then the lady next to her said, "And that's enough." Ya, that's enough. The Rock is in the house. =) Read on...